Well, I've gotten a good dose of time to reflect on my expectations.
It all started with a conversation with a friend and our struggles with this issue.
And it ended last night. It was our 10th Anniversary.
I planned to make a nice dinner, set a nice table and enjoy a lovely meal ending with a delightful dessert accompanied by some sparkling apple juice so that our boys could celebrate with us.
Did I say I planned? .....oh yes, I sure did.....
Well it ended up being hurt feelings, cereal for supper and us not talking...awesome!
I'm sharing this not to complain, not to bad-mouth my husband....but to process what God would have wanted me to do with this situation. What could I have done differently?
I really think I need to spend less time:
- fantasizing over how I think conversations will go.
- hoping others will receive things the way I hope they will.
- wondering why? Why things don't turn out the way I hoped...
I need to spend more time:
- blessing people, just to bless them.
- remembering that when I'm apart from my hubby,
I have no idea what struggles he has encountered.
- giving the benefit of the doubt.....
- asking God to enter into my time with others!
Trusting God to work it out!
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath,
for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord.
Romans 12:17-19
The end of all things is near.
Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.
1Peter 4:7-9
Daddy, I thank you that You love me.....even when I struggle to know if I am doing things right, and when I mess it up royally. Please help me to love others the way You love me, to give the benefit of the doubt, and not to waste my time fantasizing and worrying about the "what-ifs".
Oh yes, I think we all go through times like these. I often thank Creator for the difficult times (even though I don't like them) as well as the good times, and especially for the wisdom and the learning that can be discovered through them. You are courageous for seeking out this wisdom! Not everyone puts the effort into that and it will return itself ten-fold.
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